Two weeks since diagnosis…
I am alive!! Ha ha! Arthritis was never a major life or death condition to begin with, but I do understand other sufferers better now. Its not exactly easy to go through life when you are having a flare up. Especially when you may not necessary have the support from friends and family. When you may not necessarily have a caring but nagging mum to constantly worry for you and force you to live healthier.
For the most part, I can carry on life as normal. It isn’t all doom and gloom. You wake up, you do your everyday kind of things, you eat your everyday kind of foods, and you dream your every night sort of dreams. Maybe I can say this now because I am not at some of the more severe and extreme cases that I have read/heard about. Still, it is good to be alive. You appreciate what you do have and not look so much at what you don’t have.
A friend shared this quote written by Pastor J.S. Park (who also has a blog on wordpress):
“If you’re suffering right now, you don’t have to pretend it’s all good. You don’t have to add, ‘But praise God.’ When Jesus was hours from crucifixion, he didn’t sing in the garden or act hyper-spiritual. He was sweating blood. He asked the Father for a way out. But Jesus ultimately went to that cross with joy: not a shallow consolation that knows no pain, but a joy deepened by sorrow and recognizing the hurt of humanity. God is always trying to make you more human and not less. You can cry out in agony. In that honesty, God is establishing great character in you. Such a Christian is both happier and sadder at the same time, because they long for a better home and already have one.”
It’s OK to be human. It is OK and perfectly normal to be upset when things in life don’t necessarily go the way you intend or want it to go. You don’t have to pretend that it was for the good of some greater plan, or pretend to be joyful about it. If anything, cry your hearts out! And most importantly, be humbled by your bad experience(s). In humility, you learn to love greatly. In humility, you learn to see and notice the things that really matter in your life. You stop trying to succeed at the things that don’t matter.
Two weeks since diagnosis…I learnt that I don’t want to waste my life with the trivial things. I may not be dying in the terminal illness sense, but I want want my life to be significant – I want to add value to other people’s lives.